done and over with

i shall officially declare this blog stagnant and dead

anything at all.  facebook me @  zcui12@hotmail.com

for every kilometer

for every meter
for every pit stop
for every person that overlap me
for every mental fight

i reflect

as we all know, standard chartered kl marathon will be held this sunday.  we have daringly (or crazily, some may say) signed up for the half marathon, consisting of 21km of running and walking to be finished in 3 hours.

the whole family is running, yes, whole as in, parents, siblings, aunty, boyfriend.  everyone in the family whom now seem to have chicken feet to finish the marathon despite the eager and consciousness that they will and they must finish it and get rewarded after that 3 hours knee injuring, sweat flooding, odor glu-ing walk.

it all boils down to be able to finish it
it all boils down to self reflection
for every kilometer i walk, it represents one year of my life

through infant, the tears, the cries for attention
through childhood, the demanding self for everything pretty
through kindergarten, the blames of bully
through preschool, the truancy and talkativeness
through highschool, the rebels and activeness
through foundation, the homesick and realization
through degree, the kiasu-ness and transition

its all part of growing up
its all part of learning and developing

21km. 21years.

i believe i can and i will.  with the people around me, with the support and the drive to complete it.

we shall finish the race in 3 hours.  no chicken feet.  no sweat.  just lots of fear that we’ll hop on the red and white car who’ll bring us to the nearest dim sum shop for a good breakfast, half way.

 

catch us all at Standard Chartered KL Marathon 2009 this Sunday!  If you’re running, do let me know.  You’ve all got my number.

when you say you can

you can

it’s all in the mind, no?

just yesterday, I blogged bout standard chartered kl marathon that’s to be held on the 28th of June, 2009 at the raleigh’s blog.  the whole marathon stretch to 42km, while half is 21km with additional options of 10km and 5km.  my whole family signed up for the marathon, including bernard, of course.  why?  despite the ‘i think i’ll die after 1km’; ‘i think i’ll walk after 3km’; or even ‘i’ll hail a cab after 5km’.  we did.  and we say we can and we’ve vowed to start training soon. 

we did not, however sign up for 42km though.  that’s for next year.  step by step, we say.  we are given 3 hours to finish 21km.  given the chance to challenge ourselves mentally and physically, to get ourselves out of the comfort zone.  alternatively, it’s almost the same walking in the mall in 3-inch heels for 3-4hours every time we go on shopping spree, right?  21km shall not be a barrier for us all.  if others can, we can. 

just 5 minutes ago, i was shared this video.  and now, i’ll like to share this with you. 

they both finished a triathlon.  i’m pretty sure they were thrown negative comments and discouraging words.  but bey, they DID it.  finished it alongside with all the support that’s given to them.  so hey, if they can.  why can’t you?  after all, it’s all about playing and tuning your head to saying YOU CAN, aye?

for those who are interested

leave nothing but your footprints

and take nothing but memories and captions (not forgetting photos, of course!)

Been away to Outward Bound Msia Lumut (OBML) for the past 5 days for Rotary Youth Leadership Award (RYLA).  We were stripped off our cells, wallet, cash, IC, daily dose of Internet and news and every other thing that we proclaim for it to be daily necessities.  Asides all that fact, we all survived.  Came out all with renewed and refreshed memories and experience.  It’s definitely worth skipping class for (mind you, I took leave, so at least its legal), if I have the chance, I wouldn’t mind going back again for their 18 days course. 

One thing that really leaves an impression in my head would be:

A woman without her man is nothing.

When the statement was flashed at the white screen, heads were shaken, and there were the occasional ‘that’s so not true’ whispers in every girls thoughts.  But hey, it can also mean:

A woman without her, man is nothing.

The different perspective shown was well..different.  It shows that much on how our mind was set.  Really.  It’s probably how we’re brought up throughout this years.  But it’s all good to realize and accept the facts of course. 

Dr Siva’s sharings on the second day will probably be simmered in there for a long time. And i’m grateful for him on what he’ve shared with us on that day. 

The 5 days of coarse hair, dried skin, burnt charcoal tan and mosquitoes bites was definitely a torture.  But somehow, the experience and plus points shadows it all.  Thus, leaving us with only happy memories no?

I’ve met some great individuals, some fascinating personalities and most of all different dreams.  It’s funny how we are all jumbled up during this 5 days.

We are all friends, just haven’s got the chance to get to know each other and say ‘Hi’ – PP Val Allen

And Now.  Back to civilisation.  Strategies, Papers, Research, Classes, FOCUS.  Here I Come, again!

just a lil bit of sunshine

sometimes,
all you need is just a little bit of sunshine

sometimes,
all you gotta say is ‘one step at a time’

sometimes,
all you should do is change your perspective

most of the times,
you’ve just got to be grateful of what you have

Nick Vujicic, was born without arms or limbs.  He’s said to be born with disabilities.  Yet, he did not take what he had as disabilities at all.  For him, the only disabilities that one can have is your mind.

He can’t walk properly, he can’t eat properly, he can’t play basketball, he can’t kick futsal.  And yet, look at where he is right now.  Nobody trusted him, nobody thought he could make it. 

Look at where he is right now.

Perspective is what he said to have changed it all for him.  He taught us to try a hundred times, even if we fail everytime.  He taught us to stand up again, no matter how weak we feel. 

He reminds us all that hey, we’re all born with perfection already.  Why sit on the ‘what-ifs’ and things that we don’t have.  We’re inspired to let him remind us all on how lucky we are.

Just something I would really like to share.  When you’re free of course.

Whenever we see it online, whenever we hear it, whenever we think about it.  Let what he said simmer in your head, not a night, not 72 hours, but always. 

 

love,
zen

memorable task

with the hectic schedules
approaching deadlines
back to back appointments
ridiculously planned weekend
and the never ending list of things to do

don’t forget to breathe

‘i’m a student, i’m a teenager, i’m an engineer, i’m a designer, i’m a daughter, i’m a friend, i’m a cook, i’m a listener…’ the list goes on.  take a moment off, and just breathe.

’so many things to do, so little time, task after task, days of OTs, client’s complaints, client’s wants and needs, what about me…?’ close your eyes, take it slow and inhale.

‘i want to do this, i want to do that, i want to travel here, i want to travel there, but there’s so many barriers, so many things to think about, and what if..what if this doesn’t go as plan..what if there’s sudden changes..what if they don’t want?’  take a deep breathe, hold your horses, digest, breathe and then speak.

after a loong day at work, the last thing you need is bad traffic at the heart of KL just to get home to rest in peace. 

hey, look outside of the window, switch to 92.9, 95.8 or even 105.7, listen, and just get into the rhythm, whether or not it’s rnb, rock, alternative, jazz, or the blues.  take a deep breathe and just savour the time that is given to you. 

perhaps, it’s the little time that HE gave you to reflect back on what you have done the whole day and plan ahead on what is there to do tomorrow; or just a little heads up telling you that you’re fortunate to have someone waiting for you at home, or even, have a comforting home to go back to. 

a deep breath is all you need to turn things around.

no use rushing through the traffic; useless to honk at others and get people frustrated, the frustrations and irritating actions will only increase the stress that others already have.  so why not end your day properly and nicely and at the same time, save others from cursing you or sticking ‘dot dot dot’ at their mirror at you, aye?

toodles now.  assignment awaits.

to know the unknown

yesterday is the past meant to mess up the present. 
the future will always remain unknown.  which is why we’re afraid of them, at times.  unless, you’ve already got it all planned out.

it’s the whole new semester again.  you know, every semester, we are haunt by the talks and warnings from the seniors saying that the module is tough, and tough to be handled.  actually, its not quite that true. 

remember how we use to go: ‘uh-oh, SPM is just around the corner. shit! gotta buckle up! it’s tough!’ and right after that, especially when we’ve gotten our result, we’ll turn to our younger siblings and juniors and go : ‘nah, no worries. it’s not that tough. seriously.’  it’s true, you know.  SPM is nothing compared to what’s gonna hit us right after that.  and it’s tough, cause we don’t know then, until we sit for it.  Adrian’s father threw us 3 a quote one evening after one of our paper then during our car pool sessions or tuition.  he said ‘have you guys ever realised that you guys are always stupid before and during exams and only are smart after you learn from what you did during the exam?’ it woke me up though.  it’s true.  before and during, we’re always in fear of not doing well and screw up.  and after that, when we got back our paper, at least we learn and not make the same mistake twice.  made us smarter, no?

somehow, something caught my attention the other day.  the quote went

never ask for things to be easier, always ask yourself to be better.

we are scared and afraid of things that we do not know.  once we are fully informed and are aware of what that THING might do to us, we’ll be comfortably using it to our advantage already until we find another to replace what we had.  it’s the way in life.

it’s the same theory of going into a dark alley, or dark place.  we are scared cause we do not know what to expect.  if it’s our house, fully familiarize with what and where everything is, we will just walk pass it without a pinch of fear at all.  no? 

nothing is ever too hard or too tough for us.  we’ve the ability to stretch our limits just like everybody else.  there’s nothing to lose, except sleep and o’ precious sleep and probably some time off doing our manicure or for guys, dota-ing? 

hard is again just another four letter word

2008

a year filled with unexpected ongoings

i’ve got my diving licence (yay!)
i’ve done girls night in
i’ve screwed up stuff and fixed some
i’ve broken down quite a few times

my lappie crashed big time on me too!

It’s definitely a year where I’ve grew up.  Literally.  It’s not very pleasant knowing so though.  Thinking about the year ahead is pressuring.  Knowing that I’d be graduating earlier than anyone else (except Jess and Adrian who would be starting in EY soon) is worst and exciting at the same time.  There’s a whole list of thinking to be done.

New Year Resolution.  No. 1 priority: Increase in discipline, effectiveness and efficiency (Simpler Words: No Procrastination Full Stop Eheh)

The end of 2008 marks the beginning of 2009 aye?

A whole new year.  Whole new beginning. Another big leap for all ‘88 babies where we step into the world of adulthood.  More freedom, more responsibilities, more excitement, more adventure.  It’s all about growing up the right way.  Those were the days where we don’t have to worry about every other thing, wake up at one pm and not need to worry about any thing else.  Gone were the days where we don’t have to worry about grades and passes.

Last two semesters in college.  Seriously.  Uni wasn’t really what I’ve expected it to be.  Nonetheless, I’ve learnt alot.  It taught me the ugly side as well as the pretty side.  The formalities, the protocols, the red tapes, the routine.  Everything I should be aware of.  Otherwise, ignorance and awareness on whats going on in my life would probably be the main agenda or rather what’s up for dinner?

Second day of new year dah.  Less than three weeks, it’ll be CNY.  Too fast! Too Fast!  This year, everyone’s gonna be here.  Except for Richelle Chua.  Oh well.

Happy 2009!  A brand new year.  A whole new journey.  Another step towards whatever that’s stuck in our heads. 

i’m contemplating whether i should call up my dean to get my results this very moment.  kiasu-ness taking over and somehow i think i might fail one of my paper.  crap!lalalalalala *fingers crossed*

when anesthesia is needed

when sensation is blocked
when a part of you needs to be paralyzed
when awareness needs to limited
when feelings just have to be ignored

Remember the times when you are really really hungry but are caught in a middle of a 4 hours lecture and still got another 3 hours before you are free to fill your tummy, but by the end of the lecture, your stomach just tells you that ‘hey, forget it. I’m too hungry and probably immune to it already and I don’t need to be fed no more’ and even if you insist and allow yourself to dig in, the amount would probably be fire walled and lessen to the maximum.

It’s probably all in the mind, but at times, when the hunger or feelings went to the extreme but are not satisfied when it reaches the max, you’ll probably just lose the appetite for that craving. 

Feelings and emotions can too be anesthesia.  But this doesn’t require any huge needles nor do they need a professional.  All you need is the extreme of hunger towards the object, which wouldn’t be satisfied, and you’ll stop expecting and start taking things for granted.  And eventually, things start to fall out of place and disoriented and possibly, your life will turn upside down inside out.  For better or worst.

Immune would be the only word I can think of to be used right now.

Immune is the one feeling that I would like to avoid though.  It kills us slowly and deeply.  Sometimes, it kills the passion as well.  It’s difficult to hold on to something too long especially if there’s nothing to be done with or with too many unavoidable obstacles as you’ll tend to give up, be immune and seek for other solutions.  That’s also where the unnecessary becomes a problem.

Guess at times, the best thing to do is to take things one step at a time, slow and easy.  After all, what’s the rush?  We ain’t competing with Apple Inc, on what’s the next BIG innovation that’s gonna hypnotize everyone’s needs and wants.  It is the people around us that we’re bound to right.  Getting immune to them is probably the last thing you would want to do. 

It’s the time of the year once again.  To reflect the past years.  Reflect the past 20 years.  Grow Up.  and be Wiser.

and learn how to be a bimbo at times. 

2009 is approaching.  Last 10 days of 2008 before we plan for our NYE celebration and countdown together with the same ol same ol, embracing the company and hoping that we’ll have another good year ahead.  Huge parties and countdowns with massive fireworks?  Guess we’re either 1) Too Old or 2) Immune.

In advance.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

the four letters that matters

where our heart lies.
where comfort lies.
where it will remain what it is. no matter the reason
it follows.  it changes.  it varies.  it moves.  it’s filled with the unexpected.

but it will remain what it is.

HOME

No matter where I am.  No matter who I become.  No matter who I’m with.  No matter what I’m doing.

There’ll be no where like home.  And there’s only one home.

Come Home
by One Republic

Hello world
Hope you’re listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in their own place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So i say you’ll..

Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there’s a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
Oooh

I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeahh
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then

Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
So hear this now